Burning Man Principle of Gifting VS. Rule of Reciprocity

More and more people are coming to understand how unique and amazing Burning Man is. If you haven't been, the Badass Gentleman strongly recommends you give it a shot. A question that always stuck with me after attending was, "why can't real life be this awesome?" Today, I've got a real, concrete answer that not only explains why it's awesome, but also shows why it doesn't work in the real world.

Burning Man 2013 was Hot!

The realization came to me while rereading Robert Cialdini's remarkable book called, "Influence, the Power of Persuasion." In it, he describes the incredible power of the rule of reciprocity. The rule simply states that we try to repay, in kind, what we receive from another. This rule transcends culture and works even if you don't like the other person! It is indeed so tightly woven into our social fabric and consciousness, that numerous scams (Hare Krishna flower 'gift' at airports) can be based entirely on its power. The acceptance of a gift or favor, no matter its value, can produce a tremendous feeling of discomfort, because we feel a powerful urge to repay it and cannot fully rest until we have done so.

Now you may be asking yourself, that's all fine and good, but what does it have to do with Burning Man? Because it is here where we find one of the magical spells of Burning Man; the principle of Gifting. This principle states that "Burning Man is devoted to acts of gift giving. The value of a gift is unconditional. Gifting does not contemplate a return or an exchange for something of equal value."

What a radical departure from the reciprocity rule! Not only is gifting encouraged, but so to the acceptance of gifts, all without the expectation or burden of repayment. Burning Man completely eradicates the social obligations of reciprocity for both giver and receiver. It succeeds only because everyone attending Burning Man also subscribes to that principle.

My first experience with Gifting came on the very first morning. Our tent was tucked in between a small caravan of RVs, and a complete stranger pops his head out a window, greets me heartily, and asks if I'd like a coffee. Being a lover of coffee, I gladly accepted. What followed was an almost incredulous realization that nothing was expected in return. No money, no return favors. Just gratitude. This felt remarkably freeing! The removal of the social burdens around reciprocity made it so.

So if this is so great, why does the rule of reciprocity exist? Because society is built upon the exchange of favors. It is what enables us to specialize, and then trade the products or services we make. It also makes it possible to shift resources across time (giving a gift today with repayment in the future). And in its own way, it eases the giving of gifts, precisely because repayment is expected.

In the end, all of this helped me more deeply appreciate just how extraordinary Burning Man is, because it is able to tear down such a powerful and pervasive social construct for tens of thousands of people. At the same time, I gained a better understanding of what that construct enables us to achieve collectively as a society. Both are beautiful in their own right!